Some things can go either way...in such circumstances, what dictates the result? On thursday evening, we voluntarily gathered on the neutral ground of the WIP Office, to discuss North-South issues. This was suggested by one of our own, John. We were tired, and many were, to an extent, apprehensive...What if things turned ugly? One person expressing their vews could hit a nerve of someone else. Utterances could be sprung-on if perceived as incendiary comments. After all, words, once spoken, are irrevocable. And a lifetime of accumulating thoughts and feelings on a subject can leave people with an acute sensitivity. However, we took a gamble.
And we achieved something grand. For about 2.5 hours, we listened to each other. North and south, south and north. Us. We let our guards down. It was so simple. Each spoke of a moment or two or a lack thereof, in their past, which had essentially formulated their current feelings. For some of us, primarily those of us from the North, our pasts are steeped in the issues surrounding Northern Ireland. Others, including myself to a degree, felt that the issues were quite foreign to us.
Each person had a maximum of 3 minutes to speak. Some jokingly began by saying "Hi, my name's X and I'm an alcoholic." Tellingly, they thought such admissions would be less torturous and less hazardous than the matter at hand. We conducted the entire session ourselves. No one was interrupted during their 3 minutes, and no questions were asked until each had spoken. Views varied - decisions made in the past with regard to the North were analysed in different lights, and estimations as to what might happen in the future varied also. Some people thought that addressing urgent problems such as the North's high suicide rate would be time better spent than the back-and-forth discussions of the Northern Ireland question.
No conclusions were reached but any distance between us shrank. There was a high degree of mutual respect, and the channels of communication were consciously wide-open. Understanding facilitates acceptance. Speaking was not mandatory, but everyone present chose to do so. As each of us spoke, we realized the task others were faced with in speaking. Everyone gave, and everyone received.There were no terms and conditions. We didn't judge.
This week, something changed for me. I stopped seeing a group of 26 people who are different from me, and began to see an exciting team oozing potential, of which I'm a part. In a way, it seems like it just happened. But I know that that's not true. The programme has been outstanding at enabling us to build and grow. It didn't just happen. We made it happen. Now, all we have to do is prove that all that work has been worth the effort.
