Entries by Munroe, Mary

I am back in Ireland now, in County Mayo. I must remind myself that the past eight weeks in Washington DC really did happen, and that I did not spend all that time as I did today - at home with my family and my beautiful dog, Mil (Irish word for honey), doing chores and talking. We think of the amazing things in life as dreams, and the bad ones as nightmares. The ordinary day-to-day events, with which we ought to be content, are perhaps like the long moments of sleep, where you're snoozing deeply and contentedly, but can't remember any dream you may (or may not) have had.

My last week in DC was filled with melancholy. I was reluctant to see something so good come to an end. I was sad to bid farewell to my host family - Kevin and Nell, and their three beautiful children, Caitlin 10, Keara 8 and Riley Rose 5. They are the cleverest little girls I know, with boundless imaginations, and they were so generous in sharing their parents with me. For Kevin and Nell too, to share their daughters, their family with me, is the most generous, priceless gift you can give anyone. They will always be special to be, and I look forward to seeing the girls grow-up into intelligent, capable, kind and aware young women.
I will never forget our Sunday dinners together, and the'Guessing Game' which followed. Sometimes this was an 'I spy' type game; usually it was to give three clues and guess the character from Harry Potter. Unfortunately for me, I never read the books! It was a lot of fun though - the girls humorous antics and remarks entertaining me no end.

On Friday night one of my wishes was fulfilled. Hedy, a wonderful lady whom I had met during week 1 took me to listen to some jazz with her. She had come along on a tour of the memorials to the deceased American Presidents with us, and when I told her of my love of music and jazz and expressed an interest in finding out where I might go to hear the real thing, she told me that she was a jazz singer and invited me out. As things go, however, it was 2 days before I left when I managed to arrange this.

I met her on U street and she took me to The Utopia. This part of town is known as the Afro-American part; it had a thriving jazz scene in the 30s, 40s, 50s..across from the U st metro stop is a place Duke Ellington played. During and after the civil rights movement, the area suffered badly, and scars remain. The buildings don't have the well-built, well-maintained appearance you see in other parts of town; prostitution and drugs ate away at those streets like a cancer. Jazz, music is all many people had to uplift them for decades, but what a powerful force.

Walking to the Utopia, each doorway along the way throbbed like a beating heart, different beats, different sounds, but seemingly the same loud volume; the music offering to flow over you and wash you away.

The Utopia is a long, narrow place. We stepped in and the jazz band was playing immediately inside the door. The place was crowded, Tables lined the wall to the left, and the bar lined the wall to the right. In between, people were standing. There was a little table for two just inside the door, in front of the band. It was conspicuous because unlike every other table, there was no one sitting at it. It was reserved for us! Cool! Hedy's friend DeAndre was one of the musicians and singers and he had kept it for us.

Great food is served there, and Hedy and I enjoyed a lovely meal together. Nothing captures heart, mind, body and soul like jazz. It has a magnetic effect on every part of me, and alters my mood. When it fills the air, I just want to be at one with that energy, that perfect sound. Hedy said 'I knew you'd like this place'. I smiled. I didn't ask her how she knew.

There were five guys playing, bass, drums, trumpet, piano and saxophone. Some other guys stepped in and out, improvising. A lot of it was instrumental, with the different instruments going solo for parts, and showing what they could do. It was a fast pace of music, but not in a hurry, there was just so much to 'get out'.

Hedy then sang ' Summertime (and the living is easy..)' and dedicated it to 'Mary, my friend from Northern Ireland.' I smiled. What difference did it make. It didn't matter to me one bit. And of course, for most people from outside our island, the situation is difficult to grasp. Everyone in the room clapped for me. I was very touched.

She sang beautifully. She has a deep, emotionally-fuelled voice and accompanied the music beautifully.

Her friends came over to our table, and thanked me for hanging out. I thanked them. I was very grateful to meet someone as special as Hedy. Her passion is music, her job is a way to pay the bills, she would like to sing full time and writes her own songs. She has a story, and I don't know this story, but she wanted to spend some time with me. I am so grateful for that; she is out there in DC, living her life, a strong, gifted lady, finding her way, doing her thing.
Sometimes the world can seem too full, over-populated, too noisy, filled with people who are increasingly trying to look the same, be the same. Intellectually - how remarkable is each one of us? Sometimes, I feel disappointed by the lack of individuality that seems to surround me. But meeting someone like Hedy, a remarkable person, who wanted to share her passion with me, who is devoted to her passion, whose warmth pours from her onto those who surround her, made me scratch all those sentiments. There are extraordinary people to be found everywhere. Usually you meet them by simply smiling and saying 'Hi'.

Earlier that evening, all 26 of us interns, along with Management Team members and Directors of the Program had celebrated how extraordinary we all are by each of us paying tribute to one allocated person, at the Jefferson Memorial. It was easy sigh 'yawn' before something like this, but at the end we were all delighted. It's nice to be nice. Speaking about each person individually, we were reminded of how special each of us is, and of the role that each had played in our summer. It was a very joyous, uniting experience, and a reminder of how fortunate we were to have shared eight weeks in DC.

I have had a wonderful summer. It was all about the people I met. It was like taking a fistful of vitamin pills, my energy and enthusiasm for life, for the future have soared.
I have two years remaing in university, and so my studies will demand the most part of my attention for that time. But I will always be looking out, and be on the alert for what it is I can do, what is is I am supposed to do now that WIP has enligthened, enabled and equipped me.

So here I go.

The last thing I want to say, the most important thing, is THANK YOU.

On Wednesday the 30th of August, I, along with four others, spoke at the Irish Embassy. That was my "leasdership moment", and this is what I said.

My Speech:

There are many thoughts that I could share with all of you this evening, because my eight weeks in DC have inspired me deeply and set me on a new path.

My name is Mary Munroe and I am from County Mayo in the West of Ireland.

A duty, a responsibility has been placed upon my shoulders, which I now accept and carry willingly. That responsibility was always there, waiting to be hoisted.
But, it is due to the Washington Ireland Program's influence that it is now ignited within me. My motivation for accepting this responsibility is the extraordinary people whom I have met this summer.

The Washington Internship Program brings people together. I have found immeasurable inspiration in the students who joined us this summer from South Africa, because of the efforts of the WIP alumni. That is why I say internship program, rather than Ireland program.

Getting to know Thulani, a South African intern, was such a pleasure for me. He is a young man who is ready to serve his country, and he lives his life to the most wonderful syncopated rhythm.

I remember fondly, the first time I met Thami, also from South Africa, who interned with me in Congressman Donald Payne's office; I was too embarrassed to look at him or say anything when I saw that I had gotten make-up on his suit jacket during our embrace!

I cannot thank Congressman Payne enough for his contribution to our programs. He has taken an Irish intern for many years now, and WIP is delighted to reward his commitment in no better way than exporting our model to South Africa. On Capitol Hill, he is known as 'Mr. Africa'.

What a gift it was to have the South Africans amongst us, what joy they brought. They want to make South Africa a better place in which to live. And they played an enormous role in my wanting to make Ireland a better place in which to live.

My excitement about my future, my country's future, and the future of our world has been renewed one hundredfold, because of the open dialogue engaged in by us - from the North and South of Ireland, and South Africa. This was the fruit of toil and trouble on many people's behalf.

Stepping beyond yourself, beyond your side of the line, is the best thing you can do. It is enlightening. It bestows the awareness and understanding which are fundamental to moving forward.

On the island of Ireland, our long fight wasn't worth it. The loss of thousands of lives wasn't worth it. The raising of children in an environment of conflict wasn't worth it. We must move beyond the Troubles. And so here we are this evening.
Coming together in this program, students from North and South, we get it.

We won't allow the squabbling over post-conflict issues, the "I want this, but you can't have that" attitude, to hold our homelands back.

Our desire is to work together. We are aware that we have been called upon. We are aware that the only choice is to answer that call.

I will not leave everything that needs to be done to others. I too, must do my bit.

Go raibh mile maith agaibh. (Thank you)

I wish that I could draw you a picture. An abstract muddle would please me. I could shout "Ha! You don't understand!". My thoughts and feelings on paper, and you don't understand. See?

Perhaps not. Not to worry. I doubt that rewards would be reaped anyway, just deflation. Am I a more happy or a more sad person?

Darlene: "Mary, Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?"

Me: "With silver bells and cockle shells,
And pretty maids all in a row."

That's how my supervisor, Darlene, and I dialogue. That's how she gets her kicks. And I'm cool with that, I can laugh too. The people who work in my office like to laugh, and I like that. It's a good way to be.

It took me a while to feel like I fit in somewhere in my workplace, in the beginning. But I feel like that now. However, there is only a week remaining. But I think that I was supposed to have gone on a journey, and grown, and I did. The Congressman's office is filled with positive, fun, vocal, strong characters who are wonderful to work with. In such an atmosphere, I really want to be a team-player, I enjoy it.

So, how have I grown? Meeting Senator Leahy, and Senator Clinton, and Mark Shields, and the great number of others, and taking on board what they had to say, has been extremely interesting. Exposure to such people is a privilege, and THEIR encouragement is wonderful. But that exposure is not the primary reason for my growth. My time with the 25 Irish and 7 South African interns is the reason.

The state of our island, north and south, is a much more real issue to me than it was six weeks ago. I am one thousand times more aware. And that is one thousand times a good thing. Coming from South of the border, all I brought with me were the romantic, mis-guided stale views of yesterday. I was confronted with views which I would have regarded as opposite to mine, endangering to mine. But the more you hear, the more you see. Effort and willingness are required. I very much wanted the team come together, to unite. But, at first, I couldn't see how. However it is that we look at each other, the differences are the most immediately striking. Sometimes differences are intriguing, and encourage further conversation, so that the similarities are eventually arrived at. Sometimes, we perceive differences as dangerous, and never get past that.

I didn't know where to begin with the differences. And without the program bringing us together all the time in the beginning, their choice, not necessarily ours, I would almost certainly never have gotten past that. I would have just have had my assumptions cemented into beliefs - yes, the things which separate us are deep and wide. But WIP got me, us I hope, past that. The constant dialogue, and the questions which the program confronted us with, had surprising results. The views of others, so foreign to me, actually sounded quite familiar. Like something I might say. Surprise!

There are still a few people who I don't know personally, who I speak less intimately with than I do with those I've connected more readily with. But even so, I am more relaxed and more comfortable and more familiar with them than I was before. They are part of my world now, and they weren't before. There are more kinds in my world now, with backgrounds different from mine, than there were before WIP. I value individuals more now than I did before. My starting point with someone new is now from a place which seeks to find connections, and not from a place where I'm willing to be dissuaded by differences at the first hurdle. And thanks to WIP this has not just happened with my Irish friends, but with my South African friends also.

So I will savour my remaining time here, and allow the taste to linger.

Take a breath. Breathe deep. Lie down in an open space and spread your limbs. Withdraw from the things that won't withdraw from you.
My insides have been swivelling around and around the last few days, and I feel dizzy.

Something is pushing unrelentlessly against the thing which has lain dormant within me for a long time. And the push is as unwelcome as it is welcome.

Quiet belief that the world could be my oyster if I so chose, has been enough, until now. I knew that potentially I could reach the stars. My haughty secret. My certainty that I had a little more substance than the average John Doe didn't scare me, - it made me feel good. But Now. Now, people are asking "Well, if you're bright, and have potential, that's fine, but WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT??" This doesn't make me feel good, - it scares me a lot.

I am here because I was restless. Now I am more restless...That's probably not what I had intended. My being here is one more opportunity that I have received, one more opportunity that someone else has not received. What does that mean? I wonder if Man's first utterance was a question?

My mind is a minefield strewn with traps which seek to suck me into pits of despair and hopelessness, so that I may never rise above. Above what? Above what I have come from. (Long sigh.) To supercede the secretions of past failures and pains, to repress the reverberations.

"Words"...never enough, but something, nonetheless. The words that we use change. Depending on the mood. I know all kinds of words, and use all kinds. I do not care for a particular kind, for it is not a stagnant thing. I cannot do so, because, everytime, before the feeling is cemented, it is lost to a new feeling towards another kind of word. Words of unfaltering faith in one moment can be banished by words of despair in another, and vice versa. We are volatile creatures.

Will the result of a life of repeating the words of belief and strength to myself, differ from that of a life of saying either the opposite, or perhaps, nothing? Probably. If I utter them with genuine conviction, and allow them to be the first step of a violent awakening, a quaking mental shift, a realloction of my centre.

I met a lovely lady, shortly before I left Ireland, Geenan. Her name means 'Paradise'. She told me, after doing some calculations with my horoscope, that I 'have a long way to go'. I interpreted that narrowly, specific to me; part of me felt reassured on hearing that. I'll get there. Eventually. Part of me felt tired.

I must degrade my fragility, and not allow it to degrade me. I must replace it with steeliness. A weak centre is deadly. I have much ahead of me, I hope, with the help of God. But yesterday's wounds must have sealed, for the pangs of the future will have a greater severity if pangs of the past remain.

I want and need a sack of sand of strength, so that I can rise above. I am gathering one grain of sand at a time.

This is my most honest and revealing blog to date. I felt ready to write it after I read Thulani's (South African WIP intern) blog. His brave words made me brave. That the seven incredible, beautiful interns are here from South Africa, with their infinite richness, is one of my favourite things about the programme.

Some things can go either way...in such circumstances, what dictates the result? On thursday evening, we voluntarily gathered on the neutral ground of the WIP Office, to discuss North-South issues. This was suggested by one of our own, John. We were tired, and many were, to an extent, apprehensive...What if things turned ugly? One person expressing their vews could hit a nerve of someone else. Utterances could be sprung-on if perceived as incendiary comments. After all, words, once spoken, are irrevocable. And a lifetime of accumulating thoughts and feelings on a subject can leave people with an acute sensitivity. However, we took a gamble.

And we achieved something grand. For about 2.5 hours, we listened to each other. North and south, south and north. Us. We let our guards down. It was so simple. Each spoke of a moment or two or a lack thereof, in their past, which had essentially formulated their current feelings. For some of us, primarily those of us from the North, our pasts are steeped in the issues surrounding Northern Ireland. Others, including myself to a degree, felt that the issues were quite foreign to us.

Each person had a maximum of 3 minutes to speak. Some jokingly began by saying "Hi, my name's X and I'm an alcoholic." Tellingly, they thought such admissions would be less torturous and less hazardous than the matter at hand. We conducted the entire session ourselves. No one was interrupted during their 3 minutes, and no questions were asked until each had spoken. Views varied - decisions made in the past with regard to the North were analysed in different lights, and estimations as to what might happen in the future varied also. Some people thought that addressing urgent problems such as the North's high suicide rate would be time better spent than the back-and-forth discussions of the Northern Ireland question.

No conclusions were reached but any distance between us shrank. There was a high degree of mutual respect, and the channels of communication were consciously wide-open. Understanding facilitates acceptance. Speaking was not mandatory, but everyone present chose to do so. As each of us spoke, we realized the task others were faced with in speaking. Everyone gave, and everyone received.There were no terms and conditions. We didn't judge.

This week, something changed for me. I stopped seeing a group of 26 people who are different from me, and began to see an exciting team oozing potential, of which I'm a part. In a way, it seems like it just happened. But I know that that's not true. The programme has been outstanding at enabling us to build and grow. It didn't just happen. We made it happen. Now, all we have to do is prove that all that work has been worth the effort.

Here's something I never thought that I'd say in D.C: electric blanket. Well, tonight I am using one. Not as a form of torture, but to escape shivering to death. It's the A.C. No, not alternating current - AIR CONDITIONING. Does everything have a flip side?
The searing heat outside necessitates light clothing. The ac indoors necessitates five layers of bear. I am entirely against the hunting of endangeared animals for their skins, and I only brought light clothing to D.C. After a cold-free year in Ireland, I have the flu in D.C. I must say, however, that my host dad will be content once I am still breathing when I return to my Mum. He has a point.

Sunday was one of my favourite days of my, thus far, 3.5 weeks in D.C. We left the leafy suburbs and went to a Baptist church on the other side of town. The usual church-goers, ourselves the WIP and SAWIP teams, and a large slice of the host-families melted into one uplifted, emotionally-fuelled being. At least, that's how I remember it. The Reverend preached powerfully to us, driving his message home. Each felt something brewing in their innards. We were called upon. Individually. Our sense of self was renewed, the plaque of modern values was scratched away, and we were left gleaming and more pure, as though the true meaning of our lives had been restored to us. I felt that I had found something I had misplaced. Thank you Mount Lebanon.

I must tell you that my host mum and dad are taking excellent care of me, and have ensured that I am very comfortable. Only my own parents would equal the kindness that they have shown me. I'm very grateful to them.

I had some spare time today. That was nice. Today, Congressman Payne flew to Nigeria; he will be in Africa for one week. Our office was very quiet, so, with permission, I took off early. And what did I do?...

Well, I visited the National Museum of the American Indian. I thought I knew the way. On leaving the Rayburn (where I am placed) just to be sure, I asked a lady for directions. She said ' oh...hmm...you've got a ways to go'. I said 'ok, like how far?' She said '6-7 blocks, but'll take a long tiime in this heat'. I thanked her, and set off. What the heck. My spare time demanded it.

I walked. Then I thought to myself, I'm probably almost there now, I'll ask someone and find out. Well, I had to walk right back practically 6 or 7 blocks! At least, it seemed like that. That lady really had an exaggeraed notion of a metre. Just as well I wasn't time-keeping.

I wandered around inside the (free) museum. There was some live music from Peruvians who were jamming, - a bass, drums and easy tunes. Nice.

Did you know that little Indian boys collected the teeth of elks all throughout their boyhood, and then, when a man found a wife, his mother had a dress with sewn-on elk teeth ready for her delighted daughter-in-law? The more elk teeth, the better, I imagine. Hopefully the wife-to-be hadn't spent her girlhood picturing lace.

Don't imagine that because tomorrow is Saturday, I'll be catching-up on my sleep. I think not! Another adventure lies in store. Sleep SCH- MEEP!

I'm very happy to be here. Obviously, I've had a good day. Partly, that's because it whizzed by ( a good sign, right? ), but mostly because of my afternoon of novel events. Shortly after I returned from lunch, the small reception room of the congressional office was filled with new arrivees who had come to speak with the Congressman. There's something ancient about the journeying of a man to communicate with another man, be it in times of need, or to offer assistance, or whatever, and it is not an exaggeration to say that something swelled within me, today, whilst observing the reception. Good will all round. I would like a little of that everyday, please.

The aforementioned arrivees were members of the Nigerian Congress, and what a crowd! First things first, Representative Payne was thanked for his continued support of the African continent, in general, and of Nigeria, in particular. The key speaker for the group expressed his conviction that Nigeria can and will attain high levels of growth and prosperity in the coming decades, and noted the leadership role which his country has and is playing, in Africa. It was clearly conveyed to Rep. Payne, that the type of prosperity enjoyed by the U.S. is not viewed as 'pie in the sky' by Nigerians.

The Representative listened to this, and showed appreciation for the role which Nigeria has, and is playing. He had some misgivings, however, about the curent state of the nations separation of powers, and in relation to the past, about mislaid funds, and abuse of power. He concluded, however, by paying tribute to Nigeria and its advancement of self, and of its neighbours.

I was a fly on the wall for all of this - the Irish girl in the corner, who nearly pinced herself several times. The setting was so informal, a gathering around a room, like a big Irish kitchen, on a long summer's evening, in the olden days.
All present were facing one another, attentive, engaged, poised, ready to contribute and building a rapport. I liked the scene before me - the American in his suit and tie, surrounded by the bright and bold clothing of the Nigerians. I liked one of the members in particular, because he had a marvelous hat.

The fun didn't stop there, either. At 4.30pm, the Congressman invited his six interns into his office, to formally meet him. Each of us intoduced ourselves briefly. Thami, from Pretoria in South Africa and myself, were the only two non-US interns. And we got all the attention! The Congressman is a gentle man (and a gentleman), he is softly-spoken, and when speaking to him, you know that he is listening. He asked me to tell him about my upbringing, and so I told him that my father was a farmer and my mother a national school teacher (both retired now), and that I had grown up in the west of Ireland, in the country. He nodded at this, and asked Thami about his homeplace .

The Congressman then reverted to me. Yes, this deserves a new paragraph. He began by sharing his knowledge of some of Ireland's current problems. Particularly, he noted the dwindling of community life, the loss of customary get-togethers in rural communities and peoples embrace of city life, which higher spending power has allowed. I agreed with the Congressmans statement. He was not insinuating that rural Ireland is culturally in ruins - I could not have agreed with this if he had - but certainly, the wind of change has been howling around the country for some time, and many parts of Ireland of a few decades ago are unrecognizable today. I know, for the most part, that is a good thing. I do not lament for scenes of mothers bidding farewell to their sons and daughters of 16, or thereabouts, as they departed for ships, to be taken away from Eire, perhaps forever.
No doubt, I wear rose-tinted glasses sometimes, but I can see that the boom of the 1990s has not been an entirely good thing for my country, and I said as much to Representative Payne. Everything has a price, sure that makes sense. When we pay $2.50 for a coffee, that is because the coffee is of greater 'value' to us than the $2.50. I drink coffee. I get that. But if we pay for greater comfort, and material wealth with values which were core to our society in the past, it must be asked whether we are sure of what it is that we want?
I spoke to Congressman Payne of the huge business in Ireland that is the nursing home. Don't foretell my argument and attempt to bludgeon it right away. I recognize that infirm elders may require professional care and that that of a family member may not suffice, that practically, if both partners in a household are working that an invalid can not be afforded proper care also, etc. I am not appealing to women to say 'to hell' with their hard-earned share of territory in the workplace, but surely it can be recognized and accepted that among the masses of elderly people in nursing homes, many are there because it is the least intrusive means for relatives, and in todays Ireland, affordable. Sure, this can be dismissed by referral to the relative comfort in such residences for the most part, but I would rather be looked after my someone because I am their family and they care about me, than by someone who does it so that they get paid at the end of the week. Yes, there are worse alternatives, but can we be diligent also as to the better ones?

So, essentially I said to the Congressman, as has been recognized in a somewhat anaemic manner, that Ireland's values are changing since our economic upturn. On listening to what I had to say, he said that he found that interesting, and then pursued the question of what shape North - South relationship is now in. I explained that as I am from Co.Mayo in the west of Ireland, I am more removed from the issues surrounding the question than those who live in the six counties or border counties. I do believe that we have not entirely (by any means) accepted one anothers differences and found unity in diversity. I think that some of the negative sentiments of the past, the resentments, the prejudices have to some degree, been kindled, and that it is not the case that we have taken only the lessons which can guide us in the future. No doubt, the ferociousness of some sentiments, for some, were a raison d'etre, but thankfully they appear to be disappearing with a whimper, and not a roar.

All of that, in a far briefer version, of course, meant that the Congressman had to excuse himself without having had more involved discussions with the other interns. So, we have the privilege of his company, once more, tomorrow. And then, I can just sit and listen, and hopefully swell up inside, again, too.

I've done it. Day 1. Didn't reach any summits, but I feel good. I didn't lead myself astray on my way there, didn't arive late, and there were no delays due to power cuts due to storms.
I like my office. And it's teeming with issues that interest me. I have my own laptop and my own seat - my space.I didn't quite conquer my fear of picking up the phone, though. Maybe doing that and grappling with its 30 buttons wiil be my goal for tomorrow. There are lots of people like me there - who started recently and can remember the jitters. Everyone made an effort to talk to me, and help me, so that certainly went a long way to putting me at ease. I met the Congressman too, I might add, near the close of my day. And he definitely was not a disappointment. He was happy to meet me. And I was happy to meet him!
Was given a quick run through bills and resolutions, useful web-sites, did some research for a letter to Nancy Pelosi from the office to remind her of our importance, began work on a resolution re this year being the 50th birthday of the peace symbol ( the one with origins in campaign for nuc disarmament0 and thought about what areas I'd like to focus on during my time there.
So thank you lucky stars, and WIP and host family for Day 1.