Entries by Cunningham, Zelda

Writing about New York without the use of clichés is a daunting task. I suppose I could call this blog ‘New York, New York’ or ‘NYC, Baby’ or ‘Biting the Big Apple’. However, there is a personal poignancy with the phrase ‘The City that Never Sleeps’ as I managed to largely avoid sleep throughout the weekend.

Early on a Saturday morning, no one wants to get a five-hour bus journey, but through the wonders of excitement and Lenore’s ‘Monkey bread;, the journey was a fun preamble to the trip.
We arrived at the hotel, and were stunned to see that we were a block away from the Empire State Building, nestled between Fifth Avenue and Broadway leading to Times Square. The hotel was clean and comfy- but we waited with anticipation for Basil and Cybil Fawlty to pop up from behind the reception desk but alas, to no avail. We checked into our rooms, and I was staying with two of the many blondes, Lauren and Catherine, which was just lovely!
Shunning the thrills of Chinatown –all that glitters is not fake Fendi, and all- myself and Buggy rolled down Fifth for a gander. With dismay, we noted that Afternoon Tea at the Plaza is $100 per person, so we had a Pretzel in the luscious luxury of Central Park.
That night, we had dinner in a restaurant right at the foot of the Empire State Building. On we went for a rooftop party at one of the WIP alums amazing apartment building. From the 50th floor, the view was breathtaking. Manhattan looked like illuminated Lego- the perfect straight lines of the buildings and streets contrasted with the maniac, yellow-ant cabs spinning wildly through the streets!
The night was a mission in patience, democracy failing in determining a place to go. However, agreeing to disagree, we went our separate ways. Myself and Clionas’ animal rescue efforts landing us in a bit of trouble, we progressed to a fun club/pub. The night ended with a jam packed limo ride, screaming the lyrics to Radiohead’s ‘Karma Police’(???) at the top of our lungs and Chris Joyce, who was lying on the floor, breaking several of my toes. A great night!

A short time later, we met up for coffee and bagels in Central Park. John, somehow not feeling the best, lay on the ground by the fountain. We then rented boats and paddled around the lake. All was just lovely until Mannion stole our oar and left us stranded. Some people are just not team players. From row boat to Speed Boat, we met up to take ‘the Beast’ on a tour of Hudson Bay. Exhilarating as it was, I was in the front line for the waves pounding us into soaking shells of our former selves! Excellent fun though!
Dinner on Pier 17 had the most spectacular view of the Brooklyn Bridge. Having not quite dried out four-hours after our nautical antics, we were forced to buy tacky NYC jumpers and took down the sophisticated tone of the evening. It would not be the last time of the night that this occurred. Times Square was our destination for the evening. Working in the EPA, I was consumed with idea that the lights are not energy efficient, and a carbon footprint of epic proportion is imprinted forever in the neon wonderland of NYC. But anyways, sure, it looks deadly!

The next morning, although exhaustion had set in, we were excited and honored to be visitors to the U.N. and meet with the Irish Ambassador to the U.N. Quenching our tiredness with coffee and Coca-cola, we were revived and engaged in discussions about the Peace Keeping Operations and the U.N generally. We then broke up into groups to speak about particular factions within and relating to the UN. In the UNICEF group, we were enriched with the knowledge of what the organization does, what are its aims etc.

The trip was a welcome contrast to the (arguable) austerity of Washington. There is no where like New York, but as the song goes, it’s no place for the old (or tired!). Arriving back to Washington, the cleanliness and sense of space and air was reliving.
But- I still do ‘heart’ New York!

Last Monday was perhaps the most interesting day I have had so far on the Washington Ireland Program. When I say ‘interesting’, I mean interesting ‘informative’ not ‘interesting’ being stranded somewhere in Maryland with no buses or money interesting… ahem.
Mark Shields, veteran political commentator from PBS; Harold Ickes, former deputy Chief-of-Staff for Bill Clinton and highly esteemed campaign mogul, Dotty Lynch, former Senior Political Editor for CBS and South African journalist Denis Stauton.
Having an hour to spend listening to those who have not only succeeded in their field, but propelled themselves to the front-line of the political sphere was really an honor.
Shields and Ickes, in particular, were very sharp and witty and Lynch’s intelligence and experience were mesmerizing.
That evening, we went to St Albans School where we had dinner and a mock debate with some high school students from a different leadership program. Although the kids were very nice and funny, it was odd to see the huge differences between the Irish and American culture for young people. Also, their maturity levels were a lot higher than our own, but I say, if you can’t beat up a fellow WIPer with a giant dog teddy at 21, when can you?

On Wednesday, we were informed that we would be meeting Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. As there was nothing good on telly and the fridge was empty, I decided I might as well head down for a gander. In the beautiful, distinguished settings of Russell Senate Office Building, we eagerly awaited the former-first-lady. Smaller and more striking than T.V makes out, Ms Clinton gave a short speech and we had our photo taken with her. It is amazing the opportunities that you have in this city. Although the visit was short, I was really impressed! If this had happened in Ireland, we would all be completely in shock-wide-eyed and flabbergasted, but as this is such an everyday experience in D.C., we contained ourselves with our mere – wait for it- ex-hillary-tion.

Later on Wednesday, we had the congressional forum. Lauren, Fiona McC, Luke, Catherine and Laura spoke competently and fluidly about the Ireland of Today to a packed room of buffet-cruisers and congress persons. With nine members of congress showing up, including Crowley, Paine, Kennedy, Senator Walsh to name a few, we were all exceptionally pleased.
We went for celebratory drinks and dancing in ‘Poor bar” or whatever it’s called. Hundreds of dollars spent on the duke box and hours of throwing awkward shapes on the dance floor, we headed home.

On Friday, our alarms cruelly dragged us from our beds ungodly hours for a godly breakfast. The Catholic Business Breakfast was a lovely event and Fiona ‘the Buggy’ Buggy, Chris Andrews, Aoibhinn O’Hare and Peter Mannion spoke with emotion and truth that was startling. Afterwards we had a retreat, or indeed ‘sunbathe’ as some like to call it. We managed to talk a bit about Martin Luther King and leadership roles, but the ethos of the day was definitely ‘hippy chic’. After lunch, we went to Pentagon City, discovered we have no money, and slunk off home to pack for NYC!

There is nothing like running around in muddy woodlands to bring a group together!
Since Hemlock, the mood in the group has shifted for the better. Once you’ve been sweated on by a sizeable proportion of the group, ‘coffee conversation’ is a lot less reserved.

Monday mornings have never been a ‘happy time’ for me, but this Monday, there was a level of excitement as the Irish Ambassador, Michael Collins, was coming to visit us – as he does, sure what else would he be doing.
He spoke at length about the various positions he had been in before becoming Ambassador and how he came to this prestigious role. Being ‘fame and glory hunters’ we exalted in the fact that he had met so many important people and could recant personal stories of them.
That evening, we went to a lecture in Georgetown University. Being late in the evening, I’m not 100% sure of what it was about, but we played name bingo and it transpired that not one person in the room had ever been to the National Aquatic Gardens. Imagine that!
We went to management team dinners and I managed to nab the elusive 'Midnight Metro' home.

Our Wednesday at work was cut short by a tour of the White House. I mean honestly, how are we meant to get anything done with all these distractions? I had emails to check, bebo photos to upload… Our verdict of the White House was that the interior was slightly garish, but it definitely had potential. Understandably, a lot of the gaff is off limits to the prying eyes and souvenir thieving hands of tourists, but it was still very interesting. Also, we got to look really important walking out the front door.

That evening, WIP held the inaugural Media Forum, which I was lucky enough to mediate. Mark Leibovich of the New York Times, Nell Henderson, Senior Editor at the McKinsey Global Institute and former economics editor of the Washington Post, Craig Gordon, NewsDay Bureau Chief and James Coomarasamy from the BBC were the esteemed journalists present. Like a fleeing gazelle through rugged grasslands, I managed to maneuver the discussion from the jaws of disaster; timekeeping and being PC are not really strong points for me... Stretching out questions and provoking the panel were not as easy as my flash cards would have me believe. However what felt like a mere ten hours, the forum ended, sixty minutes after it began.
After the panel, WIPpers argued in favor of closing Gauntanamo in a debate against the Georgetown debating team. An hour table banging, dirty looks and what appeared to be some sort of calisthenics routine by a Georgetown speaker ensued. In a typical Irish fashion, we agreed to disagree and went to the pub.


The forth of July allowed us to take a day off from our grueling internships and rejoice in the USA National Beer and BBQ day!
We started off playing Ultimate Frisbee, which is, as I figured out, an actual sport. One shouldn’t turn up wearing a dress and flip-flops because you look like a fool. A damned fool. Also, for the record, ‘magenta shorts’ should also be avoided. Not mentioning any names here at all, Jonathan. We then were treated to the culinary delights of Alan, Colm and Heather for breakfast. We read the Declaration of Independence and fought over who was better, Blur or Oasis. In a typical Irish fashion, we agreed to disagree and went to the pub. However, before this we had a BBQ in the world’s most American house. It was a fantastic day and we were all delighted to have been invited, although in fairness our hosts probably had little choice…
Watching the fireworks from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial as they frame the Washington Monument on July 4th is one of these ‘postcards of America’ moments. The rain was ignored as we sat huddled up on bin-liners is reverend silence. From the White House to bin-liner bedding in a mere three days… American dream in reverse, but we were happy! The ethereal display ended, we walked hand-in-hand, exchanging flowers to a bar in Dupont. There was me, there was you, there was dancing! At home time, there was me, there were no metros, there were weird taxis, but I had such a brilliant time I didn’t care! Paddy’s Day should be ashamed of itself.

Saturday was a lazy day – went for sherbet smoothies with Ginny- a paradoxal concept; Coca cola is healthier, but anyways. Went to see what we thought would be an arty French film, but turned out to be a mild-mannered Rom-Com. Went out. Stayed out. Broke a flip flop. Woke up the next day, Cliona and I had eggs.
Later that evening, the 'Virginia Seven' went to Andy’s host family for a BBQ. It really seems like all we do is go to BBQs, but this is America, after all. I played my first ever baseball game against trainee players. With wine in one hand and a bat in the other, I held my own despite the competitive efforts of Luke and Andy. Ralphy and I showed them what was what. I later passed out from all the fresh air and exercise.

It's strange. Despite living and working in Washington D.C., I haven't really gotten to know it yet. Everyone is so busy that they spend their time metro to building, from metro to bus, shunning daylight in favour of air-conditioning. Having spent alot time cruising on commuter buses, riding the metro in the bowels of the city, I came to the realisation that I need to spend equal time actually "living" in the city.
With this in mind, I took an early Monday-morning walk to the White House and just sat there. I was deliberately trying to make myself in awe of it. I tried to think of all the world-changing decisions that are deliberated in the building ahead of me. The thing is about Washington is that the inescapable truth is that you are in the epicentre of the Western world. My metro stop every morning is the Pentagon. From the door of my internship building I can see the White House Flags and the Congress building. The myopic vision I had had of the city seemed kind of ungrateful at that point. Suddenly an unnaturally large squirrel jumped onto the bench where I was sitting. Deep in its inky eyes I could see the steely stare of a psychopath- intent reaking evil- Immediately I sprang from my park bench with a scream and sprinted to the nearest Starbucks. It was nice and cool inside.

My internship went well this week. My project, despite my complete lack of comprehension, is progressing! A trait of all the Americans we've met- host families, colleuges etc- is a genuine desire to help you out without much in return. This attitude is prevelent in my OEI EPA ABC office. It makes it easy to come to work when everyone includes you, reponds to you and are nice about your stupid questions. My supervisor Brendan and all the staff have definately made me feel like this! Another trait of the Washington 'Working-World' is that there is always some one to take you to lunch! I had this pleasure with John McShane, sometimes photographer for WIP. Having a casual Friday policy also helps.

I was told this week that I would be chairing a panel on Wednesday night. The panel will consist of journalists such as Nell Henderson (formerly of the Washington Post) and Mark Leibovich (The New York Times). Liking the sound of my own voice without having the committment/concentration to formulate an opinion on anything has lead me to journalism.The prospect of interacting and learning about such eminant journalists is something that I am really excited about. I'm sure those at the core of WIP idealology would shudder at the fact that my overwhelming self-doubt is making me rather worried. No one wants to stutter, dripple, trip, faint, fall, blank, spontaenously combust infront of those they admire. Visions of all of these things befalling me as well as the entire audience, including the school bully from primary school, revolting in robust laughter with pointing and rotten fruit projectiles have been plagueing me too. The phrase 'what is the worst that could happen' fails to soothe me. Watch this space for the outcome...or the news, if things go really awry.


At the Weekend SAWIP and WIP united on a yellow-school bus to go to Hemlock outdoor pursuits centre. Our team overcame our challenges through literally blood (from clare falling), sweat (ugh) and tears (dust got into my eye) We had bondage (the zip-line harnesses) and bonding. Myself and SAWIP Cheri conquered our fear of heights on the zip line. We lost all sense of personal space and hygene. Not wearing business casual, being in the countryside was a well needed change of tack from the previous week. It was a definate highlight of the trip so far.
We were then taken to O'Hara's BBQ in their amazing house. We felt like whey-faced, orphine kids being taken in by charitable hosts to let them forget, even if just for a day, the banal horrors of everyday living. A pool, stunning house, enormous garden, a private lake, a labradoogle (labrador crossed with poodle) dog - we were in our element!
We were cruelly snatched from paradise that evening. Pathetic fallacy being what it is, moments later, thunder, lightening and torrential rain battered our yellow bus as we trundelled back to D.C.
Aoibhinn celebrated her birthday with a dignified, enlightened affair at Lucky bar. I'm waiting until either she or certain MT become famous so I can retire on the profits from leaking those pictures to the press.

On Sunday morning, we were welcomed to Mount Lebanon Baptist Church. Sister Act- eat your heart out! The choir and pastor were enthrawling with their endless energy and enthusiasm. Overcoming our acquired 'stiff-upper-lips' we all managed to enjoy the sermon. Afterwards, WIP and SAWIP sang for their supper, or lunch as we usually call 'supper' at 1 p.m. All acts were, as predicted, supurb.
The luminous red punch was less of a treat, and also far more liquidy than the performers.

Ginny and I then went to an Ancient Order of Hibernians fund-raiser where a woman shouted at us for not dancing. We shouted back. A bottle was thrown. No it wasn't. We went for a lovely dinner and then went home.

And they all lived happily ever after....

Thursday, 19th of June.
Today, I awoke in a strange room. My body-clock wakes me up at the unnatural hour of six nowadays…regardless of the previous nights festivities. I had stayed in the lovely house of another host family. Despite arguing with the alarm clock for several minutes, it was indeed time to arise and go now....

Off I went, facing the grueling task of finding a new metro stop from Georgetown. I have the sense of direction of some sort of animal...with like....no sense of direction. Despite my inner-compass being askew, I arrived at work on time. Having obtained a large cup of coffee- the elixir of life, as I now call it-I regained the ability to speak, and my day began!
It ended several hours later. Ginny and I had a quiet night in watching 'In her Shoes'. Most depressing chick flick ever.... Mental illness, suicide, Cameron Diaz... Weirdly, it ended up with a romantic wedding! Clever twist, I thought. Who'd have thunk it? Anyway, I digress.

Friday, 20th of June.
Casual Friday! Went into work and began making long lists of things. All the EPA (OEI) staff is too nice to tell me I'm incompetent, but I'm afraid that I'm messing stuff up! I met an intern in another EPA office for lunch, which was great. Hopefully I will get the opportunity to get to know some of the American interns as well as my lovely N.I and Irish buddies!
After a busy day, the WIP interns brought other interns to a COMPULSARY ice-cream social. I think using an imperative with the word 'ice-cream' is a little odd, but anyway... The event took place on the beautiful rooftop of the Brick-Layers Union. Well, the view from the roof top was beautiful; the actual cement was just so-so. I arrived to see all the interns happily chatting to new exciting people from their offices. I, being the only intern in my office, felt like Bart Simpson when he sold his soul to Millhouse. To make matters worse, I don’t even eat ice cream, so the evening got off to a bad start... (Incidentally, I don’t like clowns either- childhood parties were always difficult). But then.... then I discovered a large bowl of skittles. As it was Buggy's 21st, (at last!), I decided- what the hey- lets have a couple of skittles)
Fellow interns were like- Zelda; don’t you think you've had enough? Or 'At least avoid the red ones' but I wouldn't listen. One hell of a sugar high later, the night was in full swing! Purple and green skittles, orange and yellow skittles - I was skittling up a storm. The next morning, I woke up with sore teeth and one mother of a sugar low- I will not be tasting the rainbow any time soon.

Saturday 21st- MIA

Sunday 22nd June: Ginny and I went to have a lovely brunch and a browse over jewelry. Then, I went for a relaxing swim in our community pool. We went to the store and then had a bbq. Then I sat down, watching a base ball game (Go Chicago Cubs) and began to write my web journal. It began like this... "Thursday, 19th of June.
Today, I woke up in a strange room..."

I'm writing this in my cube in the EPA. If anyone asks, this is official government business...
Monday: We met our South African Counterparts today. I feel bad about moaning about our journey when they traveled so much farther!
Having been inspired by the SAWIPs and a crash-course on speech writing, I felt rejuvenated…until the thunderstorm hit. I was literally drowned. When I say literally, I naturally don't mean literally. Let this be a lesson for you all. anyway, I had to sit having an (albeit lovely) dinner looking like a drowned rat, as Andrew poetically put it.


On Tuesday, 17th, we started work. I had already met my supervisor, Brendan Doyle, but everyone in the office took care to show me the ropes. Brendan then took me out for a lovely long lunch in Geoff's Restaurant. After a not-so-exhausting day at work, we all met up for a quick chat and everyone seemed to be happy with their placement.

On Wednesday, 18th Brendan had arranged for me to shadow deputy administrator of the Office of Policy, Economics and Innovation. A hectic day of meetings, interludes with interesting insight into the inner mechanisms of the EPA awaited me. After work, myself and and fellow UCDers went for dinner and a few drinks.

Like most of the interns, week one in Washington D.C is a complete blur for me. For obvious reasons, this is not a helpful when I have to document what we have been up to, but I will try and fill in the blanks. First Impressions? The heat! It was 42 degrees when we got of the plane and into the arms of our lovely host 'Moms'. When you have been baking yourself in your jeans for 12 hours and marinating in your sweat, the last thing you feel like doing is inflicting your embrace on a stranger, but my 'Mom', Ginny lived to tell the tale. We took refuge in the air-conditioned car and headed off to Alexandria, Virginia- the leafy satellite city which I now call home. A 21lb cat greeted me upon my arrival- It finally felt I arrived in the States. Shortly after a driving tour of the sights and sounds of Washington, I gracefully collapsed in an exhausted, sprawling heap on my bed.
The next day, Ginny took me to a BBQ for the Emerald Society Police Force. I was the only one with a non-Orishy, so I was pretty disappointing. After this, we trekked across town to another BBQ. Oh the hardship! The rest of the Virginia interns clustered together as we swapped details of families and houses. Boringly, everyone was delighted with their hosts. I secretly wanted a few horror stories, but no such luck. No leaky basement bedrooms, no cockroaches, no Country Music fans…. Oh well!
Bright and early on Monday morning, interns braved the Metro and buses and made it to the White House to begin our day with a briefing from the President. Try to spot which part of that sentence is a lie! After being oriented (a nice way to say forcibly bombarded with information), we went to the Newseum. It’s like a museum about news and it’s new. Newseum. Geddit? Eh? Eh? The Newseum houses fascinating works, exhibiting with harrowing detail the 9/11 attacks, journalists’ struggles in war-zones and it hosts a large display of the Berlin Wall. The week was full of sight-seeing and generally faffing about the heat. We fluxuated between moaning about the heat and squeaking with giddy excitement about the Abe Lincoln Monument. We girls were all really excited too.
We also had the opportunity of meeting Senator Leahy. Standing still on the steps of Congress for twenty minutes, blistering in the sun, in suits, we were not the most elegant of guests, but the Senator was exceptionally nice. He’s even going to be in the new Batman film, which makes him one of the coolest Senators in my book. Sorry Barack. Neal’s coming-of-age dinner and drinks revived us after the Congress tour.
On Friday, four compulsory volunteers gave speeches at the Northern Irish Embassy breakfast in the National Press Club Building. In such an esteemed venue, the speakers held their own and delivered intimidating coherent and competent orations. Elaine’s ‘chick’ analogy, although slightly sexist, brought warmth to my cynical heart. Or was that heartburn from the buffet? Either way, I was moved by all of the interns! Friday night saw the interns leaving their dignity at the door for the nineties theme fancy-dress part-A. Ginny was delighted to see that I collaged her sitting room and cats with orange paper for my Celtic Tiger costume. She supports my creativity. Maria and I went to the party together, she as a Dominatrix…or Xena the Warrior Princess, whichever. Despite initial fears, we were not the only ones who looked silly. Neal eased into his Dame Edna costume with worrying ease and Commander-in-Chief Jonathan just plain freaked everyone out lurking in the corner. His costume added to this, dressed as Edward Scissorhands. Lenore’s delicious Margaritas and carrot cake were the order of the day, although if you ask my digestive system, they’re not the best combination.
This was poor Catherine’s last hurrah for the week, ending up in hospital with a serious infection, and she was sorely missed by all of us! Get well soon, my dear! x
On Saturday, Cliona and I discovered Forever XXI. Like locusts on a crop field, we tore through the store leaving nothing but swinging empty hangers in our wake. Slowed only by Cliona being imprisoned by an ill-fitting garment, we headed out for the night in Georgetown.
On Sunday, Ginny tirelessly drove myself and Maria to Ocean City. Sea, sand and tacky merchandise- you cannot beat it. With fairgrounds and as colourful as a melted bag of Skittles, it was like Las Vegas for kids, and immature interns from Ireland.

For someone who said the week was a blur, I have sure blabbed on a bit. So here I shall leave it until next week!